Before being sent hate mail for stealing someone else’s work – I would like to say this piece is inspired by an episode of ‘the atheist experience’. According to reddit a speech about the comedy of errors in the bible was created by Matt Dillahuanty, but in a recent episode one of the other hosts also made this point (which inspired me). I am at no point claiming this as an original thought, although I will go into further detail, I will also start a little earlier than they did.
In the beginning…
“God created the heaven and earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of god moved upon the face of the waters.”
How, if the world was without form, can there be a “deep”? A deep what? How does something without form have a deep face? Google “form” if you need to clarify the definition. Furthermore where the fuck did these “waters” come from? There is no form, god has not made any water yet – Fail #1
“God said let there be light” I would allow this, but we notice 8 verses later god “let(s) there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from night;”
Not only does this incorrectly explain how days and nights occur (yes, god would fail a 5 year old’s science exam – on the topic of a world he created), but it also makes absolutely no sense. If these lights in the heavens (let’s call them stars – the only place natural light comes from) were created in the 14th verse, where did the light come from in the 3rd verse? Without stars there is no source of light at all – therefore god either lied about the 3rd verse, or he relayed the message to his followers incorrectly, or the story is bollocks. Before you think the second point could be true, remember you would be concluding that this perfect god made a massive mistake literally a few words into his own book.
So here we are only 6 verses into a “perfect” book, finding numerous illogical statements and clear falsehoods. I ask of you how can a thinking person get past these initial verses without firstly noticing the problems & secondly ignore them to accept the account as reputable – this is intellectual deceit. One must relieve themselves of mental faculty and put aside any rationality they hold to agree to the validity of this book. Hand on heart I can confirm, as many others before me have, not a page can be turned within the bible without finding one single fallacy, incorrect statement or morally foul passage. I hope I don’t have to document each individually, but I may do pop back into the deep well of errors from time to time.
The Bible is a comedy of errors. God creates the world with only 1 person…and that turns out to be a mistake, so he makes a companion. Two people in the world, one rule…whoops, that failed. Let’s kick them out and make life more difficult, in the hopes that this will work…whoops, that failed. OK, let’s drown everyone on the planet except for the one most righteous family…whoops, that failed. As a punishment of supposedly exploration let’s confuse their languages so they can never understand each other… that failed. Cast them on different continents to segregate them … that failed. Let’s pick just one small group as the chosen group and swear to protect them whilst mandating them certain pieces of land… that failed. Let’s ignore them for a while, maybe that will make them better … that failed. Let’s pick and guide one king…fail. Let’s send ourselves down and take human form in order to sacrifice ourselves to ourselves as a loophole for a rule that we made…epic fail. Let’s create humans sick and demand them to not only be well, but force that they firstly feel guilty and seek repentance for an ill cast upon hem without their knowledge or say so … fail.
I admit much of this is out-of-order, but here is a quick overview of a few random fails from within the arc of the bible. There are hundreds more and that is a conservative number, I assure you.
Join me next time for more biblical errors. Please like, share and comment if you would be so kind. (especially share on theist pages)